Shake what your Mama gave ya - but behave ya! :-P

A huge semi-dark room, loud booming music, crowded with sweating guys shaking their perfectly trained body – bare chests everywhere. And my humble self standing helplessly in the middle of the dance floor, my eyes fixed on the man dancing on the platform. No, it’s not a scene in “50 Shades of Grey” – it’s a normal Saturday night in a famous club in São Paulo. Before my imaginations run wild, my gay friend -  let’s call him Alan – drags me to the bar where we order a strong “Sex on the beach”.

But let’s start a bit earlier that day. After less than 2 hours of sleep (yeeees, I was out the night before despite having to work the next morning... Well, who's bad? :P ) my alarm clock was going crazy – like me after I checked the time. There wasn’t much time to get ready so I jumped in the shower, put on my uniform, grabbed my suitcase while applying some of my dark red lipstick and ran out the door towards the train station. I had to leave for a 12 hour-flight to São Paulo. My only motivation was the warm weather and the promise of cold Caipirinhas… lots of Caipirinhas.

When I’ve met my two colleagues who were working with me in the Economy class my mood improved immediately. They were just awesome. One of them was Alan I introduced before. He’s crazy but totally amazing. Silly dancing to imaginary music (see headline of this post xD), making comic faces during service in the cabin and playing table tennis with Ricola candy in the galley were just a few of our stupid ideas. 

But yeah, 12 hours of flight with almost no sleep the night before – what did you expect us to do?

We arrived at our crew hotel around 9 p.m. – exhausted but happy. First a hot shower then meet up in the lobby – it was Caipirinha-time! Me, Alan and the third guy from our economy crew (let’s call him Jake) were the only one ready for clubbing, all the others were close to fall asleep on their chairs (I'm mean: whaaat?!). Softies. Eco-crew foreveeer! So we made our way to a Salsa Club called “Rey Castro” 5 minutes walking distance from our hotel. The music was nice but for Alan there were definitely not enough gay guys around. To overcome his disappointment about the missing gays in the club he wanted to smoke a cigarette. While standing outside he started a conversation with a guy. “Just to make it clear, I am gay, those two aren’t – where should we go clubbing tonight?” I love his directness. “The Week” was the answer. THE place to be on a tonight in São Paulo. A gay club? Let’s go.

Best decision ever. Like ever ever.

Now, 25 minutes later, I'm standing at the bar - a cold colourful and far too sweet drink in my right hand - stunned by the overload of sexiness in this club. The only sad thing: everyone's gay. I knew that before don’t get me wrong but if you'd see those guys here you'd understand my frustration.

Dancer in the club "The Week"

Do you get my point?

So I'm dancing on my own but I just can't take my eyes off the dancers. I wish I was a gay guy now. Seriously. 
Like many times before, Alan wants to smoke a cigarette which by the way I have to carry aournd in my tiny bag. I mean he's gay why doesn't he have his own tiny bag? "No way", he says. Except it was a luxury brand purse of course (no offense Alan, you know I love you :P). So we make our way through the sweating, dancing crowd towards the smoking area. While we're sitting on a bench we picture a guy sitting next to us, almost dropping like a sack of potatoes and embracing his friend like a little monkey a branch. The friend tries to help him sitting upright but fails epically. We're all curious: what happened to the little monkey (which was very cute by the way. But gay, what a surprise)? “Aah don’t worry, he just had a little bit too much Ecstasy before” his friend said with a Portuguese accent. “We’ll go on the toilet and I’ll give him some heroine. He’ll be fine then. Want some too?” Uuuhhm, nope..?

We switch benches. New bench – new story. We meet a guy who speaks some German. But his voice is just hilarious. Do you know the squirrel “Hammy” from the movie “Over the hedge”?

Hammy: https://outnow.ch/Movies/2006/OverTheHedge/Bilder/246

I’m totally serious, his voice was EXACTELY like Hammy’s which makes it so damn difficult to keep up with his story especially after I share my thoughts with Alan. It takes all we got to hold back our laughter but we somehow act to be seriously interested in his story (don't ask me how). Hammy's totally fascinated about the weed culture in Switzerland (yes, the weed culture). “How much does it cost? How do you get it? Are you going to Netherland to get some too?” I'm just too tired (and a little bit tipsy to be honest) to stay serious so I just walk away, laughing my ass of. It's time to go home. Like NOW.

To all my gay friends, “The Week” is definitely the place to be for you. For all my girlfriends: go and take a look, a loooong look – it’s worth it! ;)

Over and out,
Ari